Want more Positive Self-Esteem? Top 10 Ways to Shift your Thinking and your Self Image
Are you hoping to have more positive self-esteem this year?
Positive, confident people usually feel good about themselves and their lives from numerous angles. They radiate confidence and that itself brings others into their sphere. Sure, sometimes they radiate confidence because they feel they look good (looking one’s best can mean different things to different people, however; whereas confidence and positive self-esteem come from an inner perception about one’s self or value).
- Sadly, sometimes we can start to think we’re far from being an ideal version of ourselves, or what we could be – even if we’re fairly close.
- The key thing to remember about having positive self-esteem, or a self view that is inherently confident, is that there is NO such thing as perfection.
- And comparing oneself to another is the worst thing we can do to ourselves.
There will always be someone who ranks higher or lower than you, in just about any aspect you would want to compare.
And when it comes to being happy, confident and content with who you are, where does self improvement fit in to the equation?
- Self-improvement and reinventing yourself can have positive outcomes in terms of your confidence and social expansion.
- However, aiming for perfection in anything you do, especially in relation to your physique or facial features – is an unrealistic or confidence-defying pursuit.
- Give your passions your best shot, of course, but don’t expect perfection in terms of outcomes as there’s no such attainable thing for much of life.
The Tricks of Self-confidence
Being realistic, being appreciative of what you have (expressing daily gratitude) and being open to new learning – as well as being willing to expand our minds and our social networking circles – can all have a positive effect on our self-esteem and self-image.
Understanding that whilst some cosmetic procedures can help you look your best or feel your best, no procedure and no body part or facial feature will ever be perfect. So keep your expectations in check when you’re thinking about a beauty treatment, cosmetic injection, or plastic surgery procedure, and know that confidence can be enhanced a million different ways, some from external improvements that leave you feeling great inside, and some from internal attitude adjustments that leave you LOOKING great because you FEEL better on the inside.
So how do you go from being insecure to confident? And do LOOKS really matter in terms of gaining more positive self-esteem?
The keys to confidence or positive self-esteem seems to be the following for many women and men:
- appreciate who you are and what you have
- change what you want to change (and can change)
- accept what you can’t change
- choose your goals very carefully
- never strive for perfection, and appreciate your differences even if you accentuate them for effect
The keys to happiness and health often include:
- living as healthy as you can – eating good nutrition and exercising regularly are excellent for your mind, body, emotions and moods
- taking time to chill or meditate
- trying new things from time to time to keep your mind and body stimulated
- having a hobby you love or an enjoyable past time you’re passionate about
- having a good social circle of friends and/or family members who appreciate you and support you in various aspects of your life and vice versa
- having a loving pet
- feeling like you belong in your community by being actively engaged with those around you
Others phrase it as “have something you do that you love, have someone to love to hang out with, and have something new to look forward to in the future.”
It’s also a great idea to seek counselling or help – even free community help – if you’re feeling overly shaky or feeling very down, or ‘flat’ for a long period of time. If so, please speak to your GP or phone Lifeline or investigate good counselors by asking around, as there are many people who can assist you.
Setting Goals and Self-Esteem – Where Confidence and Goals Align
If you’re not striving for something new, you can easily feel stale or stagnant.
It’s a great time of the year to set some new goals, but be sure they’re not impossible to attain. Then outline the steps to reach them, and instigate a plan with a timeline. Plans with time lines or time lined goal posts often work the best. Then get started! Getting started is often the hardest part of any change. The next most challenging part is sticking with the changes for 3 to 8 weeks until they firmly become a habit that you’d miss if it wasn’t there.
The best goals for increasing your confidence are those that are aligned with your core values, not some external viewpoint. And often, those external viewpoints are either wrongly interpreted, or not even paying attention to what you’ve potentially been obsessing about for some time.
Does Appearance Matter in terms of positive self-esteem?
In terms of looks (appearance) and if they matter in our confidence levels, research indicates they have an impact on how we see ourselves.
Interestingly, even with fully functioning bodies, very few of us are fully happy and content with what nature has given us. Some things can be changed through injections or surgery, and the niggling self-consciousness about a crooked nose or overly large breasts, for example, can be remedied through getting a cosmetic procedure. Some things can be changed through non-surgical means or even makeup or fashion choices.
But some of us may seem unnecessarily preoccupied with what we think others are thinking about our bodies, face, hair, eyes or nose.
Is your self-view accurate in terms of what other’s are thinking? Chances are it’s quite far off.
How we see ourselves is also not typically overly accurate. We are often harsher with ourselves than others would ever come close to, and we may miss what comprises our beauty because we’re focused on minor imperfections that others typically fail to notice.
We all like to look our best, and there’s a lot that can be done today to help nature along – surgical and non-surgical options. But what if you really DO look good to others yet you find yourself preoccupied with:
- a slightly wobbly bum
- a larger than you’d like nose
- wrinkles on your forehead or crow’s feet around your eyes
- Bingo wings on your upper arms
- Saggy boobs
- very large, heavy breasts that make you feel overly plump or physically limited in sports, exercise or fashion wear
There are things you can do to improve your looks, but there’s also a lot you can do to improve your attitude about yourself and yourself as an ‘entire person.’
To improve both your inner confidence and your appearance confidence is typically a double WIN, as these interact with each other.
Think well-rounded. Let the little things go. And if something has BEEN bothering you for some time, and you CAN change it in a positive way, then do so. But what you can’t change, you should aim to accept. And be grateful for what you DO have in your life.
No matter what you change or don’t change, appreciate what you have and are – all of it, just as you are today. There’s great freedom and confidence in doing so.
Here are 10 ways to shift your negative self-thinking towards better self-image and self-esteem.
- Make that critical inner voice quieten down
Don’t let that inner critic convince yourself that you are not as good as your co-worker or not as slim as your friends. As soon as that mean voice inside you bubbles up, tell it to be quiet and focus on something positive that you do well and will do to celebrate yourself.
- Positive motivation
Write down on a note you can read daily what you love doing. This will make you smile and keep you focused on goodness!
- Create a self-appreciation mantra
Do you help people every day? Can you always bring a smile to people’s faces? Are you thoughtful and caring? Create a self-appreciation mantra and remind yourself that you bring joy to people. This will bring you joy and help you feel positive about yourself.
- Each night say thank you – Practice Gratitude
Say thank you every night for 3 things that you are grateful for that happened during the day. Such a simple but very powerful way to get a great boost of life-appreciation and self-esteem!
- Paying it forward
The old adage says that you get what you give, so how about making an effort to give our positivity by doing acts of kindness for others. A smile leads to a smile and giving good energy out into the world magnifies it in our environment too. A great reason to feel cheerful!
- See the perfection in imperfection
In the world of aesthetics, some people say of certain attributes, “that’s not a flaw – it’s a feature!” Perhaps it is time to look a little less closely at your imperfections as flaws and see them as those unique characteristics that make you, you? Or if you ARE going to enhance something, make sure you do so in a way that flatters the REST of you (our Cosmetic Injectors and Surgeons are notorious for getting natural looking results).
- Mistakes and failures make us grow
Each time we get knocked down by life, we get up again and we learn a little more. Life is a rollercoaster at times, and each error or accident helps us to grow and find the silver lining, as well as a lesson for next time.
- Try something new
An old dog *can*learn new tricks – and what better way to surprise yourself by trying something new to help you appreciate your sense of fun, wonder or hidden talent you never knew you had?
- End comparisons to others
Comparing ourselves to others is one of the biggest traps to feeling down on ourselves. Instead of comparing yourself to someone else, compare yourself to where you used to be to see how far you have come. The result might surprise you!
- Pick your friends carefully
Surround yourself with people who celebrate you and help you become the best version of yourself! Friends are important influences on our self-esteem – and remember this works both ways. So give support as well as allowing yourself to get it.
If you are interested in cosmetic plastic surgery to help boost your self-esteem, please complete a confidential enquiry form. Or, alternatively, you can speak to one of our Coordinators by calling (03) 8849 1444.